I have realized that the various ideas that we have about ourselves often called, “self-concept” or “identity” are highly changeable and fluid. And that in a surprisingly short period of time, we can change and re-organize how we think about our self-concept and make deep and enduring changes in our lives.
We just need the right strategies and understanding. And with them, we can then use our thinking, feeling, and imagination to change our self-concept quickly and easily.
I do not expect you to believe me right now. But I hope you will over the coming weeks and months as I share some processes with you.
Why change your self-concept?
That is a question that varies according to one’s desires and needs. I began working with these ideas to get over past hurts and to understand and integrate some of my early experiences. It created the wonderful “side effect” of making it easier to take chances and try on new experiences and lifestyles.
You can do self-concept work to have a richer sense of yourself. And to take more action to get what you want in life….create a more profound and more robust sense of self
When your self-concept is embodied and it includes more of your experience you become free from a great deal of turmoil that you may have experienced in the past.
You become unshakable.
You create a type of resilience that shields you from feelings of anger, shame, or feeling disrespected.
One of the reasons that I am writing about this now is because I am realizing how much more powerful Feldenkrais, somatic and other modalities can become with a bit more understanding of how people subjectively create their self-image.
The applications are endless.
I believe that there is little need to be afraid of the social changes that are coming in the world when your self-concept is rich enough. You can let changes flow through you and past you.
You will remain and you will be changed in some positive ways.
So, what the hell is it?
In a previous post, I called it “embodied self-concept.”
Note: It will take me some time to get these various ideas into shape. Perhaps a few months of posting here and doing some podcasts and videos. My goal is to give you enough experience so that you can see that self-concept work is possible and make some useful changes along the way.
Embodied Self-Concept
Embodied, because it is not just seeing yourself and your life in new ways, it is actualizing it - feeling, sensing, and moving forward. Moving ahead in your life in ways that are deeply satisfying to you - and that last through time.
Let's have an experience here so that it will be less abstract.
We did some of this in a previous post and I want to do it again (and again) because directly experiencing positive aspects of your self-concept is an important skill.
It is a very helpful, grounding process to know how to touch base with what you like about your qualities. Later in this series, you will learn to use your valued qualities to work on other aspects of yourself that are perhaps…ah…less valued…and could use some transformation.
So:
Can you think about a quality or value that you possess and like? Something “good” about yourself that remains constant over time.
Do you think of yourself as kind, hardworking, or compassionate for example?
Pick one quality for now - a strong one.
A quality that is positive and valued and that you believe about yourself, irrespective of others' opinions.
Now, put that into a statement: “I am X” - with X being your chosen quality. Remember, state it positively (for instance, say "I am peaceful" instead of "I am not violent").
Have you got one?
Reflect on your chosen quality or value.
How easy is it to recall multiple instances where you've demonstrated the value? If it is a valued quality it should be relatively simple.
Take some time to remember specific memories (You will need to look away from the screen for a moment!)
Do you have some examples or memories from your recent past?
Some examples from long ago? Childhood? Adolescence? Adulthood?
And what about the future?
Knowing you possess this quality means you can carry it forward. You know that you will have this quality, yes? Well, HOW do you know that you will exhibit this quality in the upcoming days or weeks? Do you see yourself having it? Will others tell you that you do?
Look away from the device to think and visualize.
Remember, these are examples of a quality you appreciate about yourself. To better understand your connection to this value, think about:
Visual memories of you showing this quality.
Instances of people acknowledging it in you.
Times you affirmed it in yourself.
Feelings associated with it.
Are you getting a sense of how you know that you have this value?
Now, how about we play with making that valued quality even stronger?
Would that be Ok?
Strengthening A Quality
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