Thought experiment to get a different view of social reality: drop all labels of personality attributes when you interact with people.
For a few minutes when interacting with people (real or imagined) do not make any attribution such as a “good” person or happy person, stubborn, angry, or any other label. Take note of people's behaviors and do not categorize personality or intent.
If you say hello to someone and they look at you blankly or get angry, make no attribution. Think, “I said hello and their face seemed to me to be blank (or have an expression of anger, etc.)”
If you talk to someone and it seems to you that they are talking faster than usual, do not say, “They are anxious or perhaps scared.”
Just notice in fine detail what they are doing.
And that´s all.
You order coffee at a coffee shop and the barista´s hands shake? Take note of that and make no attribution. Just think or say, “That person’s hands are shaking.”
And no concept of like or dislike
Have you ever been talking to someone and you think (or say) to yourself internally, “This person likes (or does not like) me” or “He/She is bored with what I am saying.”
Yes, I know.
We all have.
In this experiment, you drop that for a while.
Just notice what the person is doing (or did) behaviorally.
Did they look away from you? Did their eyes defocus while you were talking? Did their breathing change?
Notice.
Stop and think what you notice behaviourally.
That’s all.
I will likely add some clarifying and contextual comments within a few minutes of publishing. Feel free to click through to the comments.
I have no doubt that the process I wrote about exists in many different fields. I can imagine a Buddhist practice might work with dropping labels. Those who practice NLP and Ericksonian Hypnosis are taught to do so as well. I have been playing with the idea for years. But surprisingly, the idea for doing it and writing about it came from playing online Poker tournaments. I noticed a few days ago that I was sometimes making attribution about players and that it was hurting my game.
I would think, "oh this guy is a novice" or "this person is a weak player" or "he is bluffs a lot." And the attributions took me away from staying in-the-moment with the person's playing. It is better to think "he raised in a situation that I would not have raised" or "I think he is bluffing, but I am not sure."
Does that make sense?
Of course, dropping labels can be deeply powerful in keeping our mind open in social situations and staying connected to people and their possibilites.